3 posts tagged “life”
10 things to live for:
1. umm..
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7. i have friends.
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10. i have frnds?
10 things to make me not wanna live for:
1.ive been told its better off..
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10. i juz dont wanna
10 things keepin me alive:
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10. i have friends?
im pathetic.. people have problems.. bigger than mine..
cant i juz do without this fucked up brain of mine?
hehe its wierd.. mah reasons for living just keep on.. -sigh-
eh its 3:12 am n im on mah chair.. askin mahself wat it be like if i hadnt met ne of them..
wont be happy sure.. wudn be like this either.. wudn be nethin at all..
to fade away as no1 notices wow.. man.. that be really cool.. eh.. just sleep..no1 to disturb meh..
i dun really like sky scrapers.. cuz ven me up on 1.. cant help but imagine..wat id be like to fly..
wat id think the moment juz b4 i touch the pavement..
hehe.. id prolly try to hug sum1.. dunno who tho any more..
im getting into an institute that lets me study wat ive alway wanted... animation..
i dun feel as i imagined i wud... dun feel nething at all..
i juz dun care nemore..
does that make me bad?
im makin mah parents spend a hell lot on this... n i dun feel nething abt it..
used to make up amazingly outrageous stories in me mind.. was so cool.. now.. it all juz run arnd 1 theme..
am not used to being called great.. so the ones who call me that.. read this.. eh.. im a depressed mannequin with a smile.. i do get a smile.. sumtimes.. ppl i no.. smilin.. ppl i no.. takin care of themselves.. eh too much to ask really..
death aint the real truth abt the world.. hypocrisy is.. im de biggest 1 ^_^ .. dream abt sumthin n go.. look at me.. i wanna die.. i hate this place.. who fuckin doesn right ^_^.. but well if it is so.. shud juz do sumthin abt it.. food i eat.. meds i take.. can save like wat.. 4 ppl .. so.. this depressed sack of shit is feedin on 4 ppls lives.. n yet here i am.. juz talkin abt it hehe.. still id never wanna forget myself.. im a nobody already.. wat wud it matter if i did right?...wrong!.. yea.. i hate it.. i hate mah life.. id be happy as sum1 else.. n den i'll realise.. i aint really happy as this either.. why bother.. its my life eh.. for bad or for worse.. i made it this way.. why forget it.. im a horrible..horrible person.. but thats who i am.. issokay ^_^ i dun appreciate drunks.. i dun.. maybe its cuz i got beat up by em.. who knows.. maybe its all the violence me seen b4 mah dad straightened up.. or maybe its cuz ppl say they wanna forget themselves by drinkin..eh? bullshit.. smokin.. ah well.. wtf eh.. mah uncle.. he was a smoker.. a stoner tooh.. maybe i despise them after seeing how he destroyed his life b4 killin himself.. maybe its juz me.. but thats juz wierd..hey im not complainin.. who am i to judge eh.. i aint no better.. i mean livin in hell aint so bad.. rock music.. warm weather.. hehe..oops that sounds like mah room heh..
im so tired..so confused..i shudn b... am a nobody after all..
im an imposing character ne.. bleh.. need tooh change..
well.. o well.. lets start again..
^___^ ole.. its 3:48 am n me still aint asleep
*chuckles*
hehe.. if mum n dad find out i'd be grounded.. lol.. little that they know..me all day at home neway
*laughs*
ooh im ebil ;)
no one's a listener so i don't teach.
all the fire in me burns me numb...
its so cold.. so cold n dumb..
its an honor, an honor to meet your acquaintance..
i hope we grow together and complete a sentence..
nobody's right , everybody's wrong..
leave me be, let me be strong.
the silence of night, broken by screams of pain..
relax its just me, need to rub off this stain.
never again, it was to be never again..
its funny, the very next day too was an act of refrain..
its a close call they say,while turning their heads..
couldn't care less, just let me out of the sheds.
its a confusing tale of a prince of no where..
no sword no shoes.. but a promise of somewhere..
a bag of clothes, few twigs in hands..
to draw a circle around where he stands..
"this is my land.. this is my country.."
a bit of hard rain..a lonely empty stomach..
and there it was.. a piece of poetry..
bleeding feet.. hollow eyes..
the passing years had weakened his thighs..
sight of a broken man..n years that forego..
what left was a forgotten parchment that read..
there lived a prince long long ago..
the night fell and i stayed..
the day broke but i still stayed..
like i always do..
motionless and quite..like i always do
all for sumthin long gone..
all for sumthin that was never true
the pain that sits inside me..
the world dat lurks around me..
for everything i took for granted..
i cud never understand..
if the light i saw den was nuthin but an illusion..
or was it the plight of a broken soul..
i look around and find
empty smiles and hollow faces..
to kill myself would be a pity..
but my enemy wont show..
all the time i look around..
broken laughs and heartbreakin noise..
but my enemy still wont show..
if only i had time..
time that i haf now..
to be the person i'm not..
to be the person they want.
sumone great sumone like sumone else..
if only they knew me fer me
if only they let me be then..
like they do now..
i got dreams and i got wishes..
none that they get ..none tat they have..
the knife in the background seems so sweet..
calling out to me..so seductive.
i wonder if neone wud cry..
i wonder how many laugh
what a sigh of relief..
atleast they'll laugh..
to the poor angel who never got his wings..
to the poor angel who juz faded away..
but i still wait....
the night fell and i stayed..
the day broke but i still stayed..
like i always do..
motionless and quite..like i always do
if only they knew me fer me..
if only i was like sumone else den..
if only..
if only..-sigh-
if only ..i was ME..
