2 posts tagged “...”

cant feel nethin ..am so numb..

like i always go after a brawl..

like i did ven i let those drunk guys beat me up.. maybe that was better.. only got a bleeding nose but was still smiling.. cant.. cant do that this time around..cant breathe..cant see..cant hear nething except  that fuckin thing thumping inside my chest..

i was wrong..like always.. im always wrong.. wrong ..WRONG!! i guess....
was never special should accept that already...
how much my words mean.. not much.. every other person shows me that..
should have just accepted that already..
it really was too much to ask..too much to hope..too selfish..
should haf realised that already..
the guy next door...always der..always..always der..
should haf realised that already..

been a rough couple of weeks..a hastle..tryin to make em hear my voice..
wish i cud go back to the days..ven i said im okies without hafing ppl asking me 'u sure?'
was so much simpler den.. i was much better at this then.. cud juz smile forever.. no glitches.. no hesitation..
not tonite.. not for a long time now i think..
im tired.. cant stand it.. heh i need a shrink..bad

i hurt her.. i hurt em.. heh.. thought tat was sumthing i wasn capable of doing..
yeah am capable of hurtin ppl too..
im an inconsiderate piece of shit.. who like a baby needs to whine to be heard..
wish that thing was juz wat da doc

Ph-10408

heehee gotchu didn i.. juz kidding ^________^
me ish the always fines n de kickings myself..<still cant believe i passed up on the ps2>
*tries again*
not flexible enuff..o well
*picks up a batter*
ano..close ur eyes..this aint gonna be pretty ;)

why is he such a loser..
why cant he juz say it..
why cant he mean it when he says it..
why wont anyone believe him..
why is it that after everyone looks away...
that smile he had forever goes away too..
why is it every night he has trouble seeing..
with all the tears shrouding his vision..
why does his heart ache..
why does his hand shake ..
why has he never written what he truly feels..
why is it that he denies it..
why does he have to be the crypt keeper..
why cant he ever live the way he wants..
why does he let himself be shoved to the back of the line..
why does he say "im happy for you",
while being eaten alive inside..
why does he keep waiting for moments that were never coming..
why does he believe words he knows are not true..
why does he choose in a corner
while sitting in a crowd..
why am i left with seeing wat happns to him..
why cant i juz snap him to reality..
why do i cry for him..
why do i smile at his misery..
why does he feel so alone..
why is he scared ven hes not afraid of nething...
why is he alive..
why cant he juz go where he belong..
and sit in that firey place and rest...

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